This here is the script for the Plants vs. Zombies Plush episode: Head Zombie's New Machine.


Head Zombie: Ugh... you know, maybe I should give up getting the brains. There's absolutely no way, especially with one of of my men injured, and all I have are the other idiots! What am I going to do? I don't even have any money! Where do I get money, a freaking leprechaun? Just look over at THAT special ended us up! *sigh* I gotta do something. Hmmm... Well, I am the second zombie created right after Dr. Zomboss, I should have some smarts too. I'm gonna ask him something.

Dr. Zomboss's Office

Head Zombie: Master?

Dr. Zomboss: (Ah, it's you, the failure who screwed up twice.)

Head Zombie: ...Why do you always talk like Bowser, in where you have like, textboxes? And you don't exactly talk?

Dr. Zomboss: (So much for the Fourth Wall. That, and I would like to remain in the shadows. I am thinking of new plans.)

Head Zombie: ... Good enough.

Dr. Zomboss: (Now, what do you want?)

Head Zombie: Well, I came here to wonder if you could um, lend me some blueprints to make machines and stop the plants.

Dr. Zomboss: (Excellent... I was going to test out my latest invention... Those brains WILL be on my plate. Can you do it?) (hands Head Zombie blueprints)

Head Zombie: Okay, thank you.

Dr. Zomboss: (Excellent. Do not fail me. Stay away from Wallnuts.)

Head Zombie: I won't. *Later...* Hmm.. let's see... Yes... It's alive, IT'S ALIVE! Let's see these plants try this one on for size!

Many miles away, on a Bowser airship, the Koopa Troop are minding their own businesses...

Spike: Er, Kamek? You might wanna come in here.

(Kamek swoops in)

Spike: Take a look at this here radar.

(Kamek spots a wild Head Zombie on the radar)


???: Calm down now, Kamek.

Kamek: Huh?

???: 'Cause I think I know how to stop this here problem.

Kamek: Eh! Yeah, and might you be?

Monty Mole: Well howdy there, my name is Monty Mole, and I've got a master's degree in crops, Harvestin', Eatin', Poopin', plantin' crops, and plants.

Kamek: Yes, and like all times, we manage to defeat the zombies with those plants packs that you got us.

Monty Mole: Yeah, but this time around, I've got another suggestion.

Kamek: Yeah, because this thing looks way too powerful for all of those plants to take care of.

Monty Mole: True, but we have a secret weapon.

Kamek: And what is that?

Monty Mole: Follow me. (walks over to secret weapon) See this here, Kamek? This here, is an onion. If we put something inside that onion, a new type of plant will come out.

Kamek: !!

Monty Mole: Ah no, it's not like those other plants, it's called a Pikmin. You know I thought you'd know what that thing is, considering it was in um, Super Smash Brothers and in Mario Golf. Anyway, *throws some crystals* when times get desperate, use that. And to save it, to use them to defeat that zombie.

Kamek: Okay. Yeah, who's going to go out there in defense?

Monty Mole: Eh, I'll go with... I'm gonna say my team. *Monty Mole then proceeds to his team what's going on and the battle plans*

At The Lawn

(A shy guy is on a the airship as the team heads out)

(Something is coming through the bushes and the plants are prepared)

Head Zombie: (comes through bushes) So plants, what do you think of my NEW MACHINE?

The machine seems to be a green tractor with blades on the front.


Kernel-pult: Throw the rake! *The Rake from the Creepypasta appears on screen*

Snow Pea: Ugh, please, not that Rake. The other rake, cha.

The Rake: Awwwww...

(Magnet-shroom throws the rake in front of Fume-Shroom and he gets triggered)


Magnet-Shroom: Okay, I'm sorry! (uses magnet power to turn the rake towards Head Zombie)

Melon-pult: Now there's no way he's gonna stop us.

Head Zombie: (drives over rake) OH MY GOODNESS! (it's not very effective)

Melon-pult: How did he stop the rake?

*Ready... Set... Plant!*

Head Zombie: MWAHAHAHA! It's time! I'm finally gonna get my brains! If it's the last thing I do! Hehehehe!!

Apple Bomb: Hehe! Hee! Hee! Finally someone who's not as happy as I--(gets ran over)

Head Zombie: HEEHEE, not so tough now, are we... Uh oh. There's a Wall-nut in the road. I don't want him to jack up my car... or tractor! (gets out of tractor and eats Wall-nut) I don't have a secret weapon this time either!

Kernel-pult: Uh oh, we need the Cherry Bombs! Send in the Garlic Wings!

Head Zombie: Hmmm... (uses Wall-nut to bowl over Garlic)

Kernel-pult: Nevermind.

Split Pea: You didn't send the Cherry Bombs fast enough! (shoots peas at Head Zombie but Head Zombie crushes him)

Magnet Shroom: Ha! I'm gonna suck this bloooOOAAAGH-- (tries to pull blades off but ends up hitting his head on tractor) Ow...

Head Zombie: You meddling plants can't stop me! I'm invincible!

Cabbage-pult: No! Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare tactics, don't fail me now! (moves to next lanes and hits Head Zombie) Now... (hits more times)

Head Zombie: GRRR! STAMPEDE! (runs over Cabbage-pult and Fume-Shroom)

Cabbage-Pult: No! ... Ouch...

Fume-Shroom: I never got to kill Magnet-Shroom... (dies)

Melon-Pult: OH NO YOU DON'T! (moves to the lane next to the house)

Kernel-Pult: You're more of a coward then me!

Melon-Pult: Shut up.

Head Zombie: I will now grind this plant to a pulp!

Cabbage-Pult: *whimpers*

Head Zombie: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- Oh, wow, I made quite a mess.

Kernel-pult: He can get over us one day!

Melon-pult: Right there.

Head Zombie: Ah, that was swell! Cattails... Splat! Cattails... Splat!

*Back on the airship*

Spike: Hey look--

Monty Mole: Get outta my way! This is my business! !! Aw crap, oh no oh no no no... Well, it looks like we need some support in the Cherry Bomb department! Hey Creeper dude! Don't be so lazy! Throw in a Cherry Bomb!

Creeper: Yessssss sssssir. I am ssssssending them off... *throws the box* Good luck... *The shy guy throws the box to the plants*

Head Zombie: Are there any other plants you have for me-- *Cherry Bomb is onto him* Aw shoot. *They proceed to explode* Nooo... No! No! No! I'm not going down without a fight. Gotta pull to the middle! RRRRRR!! *kills some more Plants* Oh dear, I've made another mess.

Peashooter: Now's my chance to get him! *shoots at Head Zombie*

Head Zombie: AAAIIIIEEEE!! Ugh, I feel dizzy... Aw crap, that pumpkin's also gonna mess up my tractor. *tries to eat Peashooter and the Pumpkin*

Peashooter: Do you think this is very suggestive?

Head Zombie: Shut up.

*Back on the airship*

Monty Mole: Alright, he's at the Peashooter! Alright, Creeper dude, send in a blover. Maybe the blovers can blow away the zombie dude.

Creeper: I'm sssssorry, I haven't really... That Peashooter, he was an exhibit...

*The Shy Guy throws the Blover*

Head Zombie: Whoa! Grrrr... *throws away Peashooter as he is blown away by the Blovers* Haha, you blew away your own teammate! *Hops back in his tractor* Now to continue my reign. *runs over some more plants*

*Another back on the Airship*

Monty Mole: Last stand, use a jalapeno. Creeper!

Creeper: I'm ssssorry... it's not that very tight... *throws the box* There... I can rest in peaccccce... *explodes, causing some malfunction in the airship*

Spike: Uh-oh...

Head Zombie: *sees Jalapeno* .... What is that?

Jalapeno: Hola. Yo me llamo Jalapeno. Adios senor.

Head Zombie: The frick did he even say? *The Jalepeno explodes and causes some damage* Crap, piece of garbage machine... Oh well, I still won. *Gets on the airship*

*The plants lose as the shy guy falls off of the airship, leaving only Head Zombie on it as it crashes*

Head Zombie: Dang it! Ah, oh well, I'll just get my brain from inside there again.


Monty Mole: He's onto the ship! He's on the ship-- Alright, time for our secret weapon!

Pokey: What are we going to do, he's going to eat our brains!

Creeper: Not to worry friend... I have an idea... Let'sssss get out of here, follow me...

Pokey: O-Okay!

Monty Mole: Come on Onion, work!

Kamek: For your sake, it better- wait, what's that eating noise?

The Giant Goomba shows up with his cheeseburger


Giant Goomba: Hey man, when you gotta eat, you gotta eat.

Kamek: Ugh... *sees Pikmin* That's it!? One silly pikmin!?

Monty Mole: The Onion's all out of stuff.

Kamek: Ugh, well go.

*White Pikmin makes his way as Head Zombie enters, the white pikmin tries to stop him*

Head Zombie: Ah, I'll eat you. *eats the white pikmin, but it was poisoned* Agh, I feel awful! I feel... poisoned...! *cough cough cough, seems like he dies...*

Kamek: Yay!

Head Zombie: *gets back up* Just kidding.


*The rest of the troops proceed to escape, Head Zombie finally finds the brain*

Head Zombie: Yes, a brain! A brain in sight... I'm about to get my brain!

*The Giant Goomba then gets in the way*

Giant Goomba: Hi, my name is Giant Goomba. This is my turf here. It's a brain of a human. Don't touch.

Head Zombie: But I want-- *gets beaten up by the goomba*

*Back at Zombies HQ*

Coney: Hi Head Zombie! How was your--

Head Zombie: Shut up.

Coney: Butthurt much~?